The other day I decided to get myself a haircut. I wanted a change and wanted to look pretty. One of those moments where I do something for myself and feel good. And now I have an advice for all women, if you want to feel good about yourself then NEVER go to a parlour.
I am 32 year old woman, mother of one. I have always been a scrawny kid, but now I have stretch marks all over me, and loose flab hanging everywhere. I have battled with adult acne all my life. And finally I have reached a stage where I don’t have massive breakouts, but still have marks and scars from the past. I started greying at the age of 13, hereditary. So I have coloured my hair since I was in college. I got specs when I was 5, again hereditary. And since I had major weak eyes, I have worn those geeky thick rimmed specs for years, contact lenses in my adolescent years, and got lasik done when I was 19. I had horrible bugs bunny teeth, and have had all kinds of weird wires and braces put in my mouth to fix it.
(me at 23 vs. 32)
Now at 32 I have finally accepted a lot of my ‘flaws’ and yet never felt so happy in my skin. I love my new shape, my waistline my ass. Everything I love it. I feel like a real woman. Yes I need a bit of toning and I am getting there. After getting rid of those ugly glasses, and waking up to the gift of clear vision, I had to get reading glasses again. Yet I like the thin frames and sometimes I flaunt it as an accessory. The fact that I have no recent acne episodes, and finally after years of experimenting found a beauty regime where I can actually put some creams on my face without breakouts… thank you god! And most importantly, finally after all the multiple trips for colouring or root touch ups and hair experiments. I have given up and just stopped!
The point is i have defined my version of beauty for myself. There were some things I was not okay and I changed those. But some things I have started to love about myself and refuse to change it just cause it doesn’t match traditional standards of beauty.So yes when I went to the parlour and the man during hair wash said to me ‘hair loss ho raha hai’, ‘oil nahi karte’, ‘itne young ho colour karlo’. And then the threading lady says ‘Humare pass acne ke liye bahaut Acha facial hai’, ‘bleach? Face cleaning?’ I did not get angry and just smirked. I didn’t feel like justifying my reasons with ‘oil gives me acne’, ‘I don’t want to look a shade fairer’. I just said ‘NO, thank you.’
Let me just add at this point, I am quite a vain girl. Vain about how I always dress, look; and confident about what I bring to the table in terms of my skills and knowledge. All I can say at the end of it all I did not feel any better from the visit to the parlour. And I was reminded of all the flaws which I have owned. But I felt happy that I didn’t feel the need to explain. Cause it’s my story. My history. My choices.
And yes I am 32, mother of 1, with grey hair, petite with flabby stomach, unclear complexion; but man do I have a gorgeous smile.